You can see your parents’ point. Having in-home help invades their privacy and threatens their independence. You wouldn’t welcome those changes either. But sometimes hiring in-home help is the only way your parents can safely continue to live in their home. Here are three tips for smoothing the transition:

1. If your parents are both living together in their own home, suggest that the less needy parent would benefit from outside help, even though they both need it. For example, tell Dad, whose health is worse, “Keeping up with everything is tiring Mom out. Maybe we should get someone in to clean and shop for groceries.” Because he cares about her, Dad is more likely to agree to get her outside help (Obviously, get Mom onboard with the plan first). Once a caregiver is in the door, hopefully your parents will see the value of the service and come to trust the caregiver. Then your parents will be more open to accepting additional assistance as the need arises.

2. If your parent lives alone or with you, your focus can be that the assistance will benefit you. For example, explain to Mom that having an aide assist her in the bathroom will relieve you of worry while you are at work. You won’t have to be concerned that she will fall and lie there for hours. Often a parent will place the child’s welfare ahead of his or her own.

3. If your parent is really resistant to the idea of a caregiver even though it is clearly needed, enlist the help of a trusted professional such as a physician, pastor, or family friend in the medical profession. Emotions can run high in families, and sometimes an objective outsider can break the impasse.

These discussions can be frustrating. Try not to take your parent’s resistance personally. Remember that he or she feels vulnerable and a bit powerless, and may also be mourning the loss of his or her independence. More than likely you would feel exactly the same.  Be patient, persistent and stress that you want your parent to remain at home as long as possible, but accepting help is the key. For additional suggestions about making this transition, visit www.agingcare.com/Caregiver-Support/ or www.mnaging.org/advisor/caregiver.htm.

The post “But I Don’t Want a Stranger in My Home!” 3 Tips for Convincing Mom or Dad to Get In-Home Help appeared first on Pinnacle Services.

Next time you visit, look for these 7 signs your parents need help:

• Does their home still meet Mom’s housekeeping standards? Or are there fingerprints on the doors, sticky spots and crumbs on the counter, floor, and kitchen table?
• Are a few of yesterday’s pills still sitting in the pill sorter?
• Are Dad’s clothes spotted and in need of washing? Are the kitchen and bathroom
towels dirty?
• Does the smell from the cat litter box or garbage hit you when you walk in the door?
• Does Mom frequently fix cereal or a can of soup for dinner, because, “It’s just too much trouble to cook?” Are the leftovers in the fridge going bad?
• Does Mom still get together with friends or neighbors? Does Dad still plan outings and enjoy some of his favorite pastimes?
• Is the mail stacking up? Are bills past due, even though your parents have the money?

Of course, you don’t want to go overboard—at the end of long week, your kitchen and bathroom probably need cleaning, too. And certainly, no one lapse is a reason to call out the cavalry. But if you regularly see a number of the scenarios described above, it may be a sign that your parent(s) are having trouble keeping up.

How to help—from family involvement to in-home care

The solution may be as simple as asking family members to get more involved—make a double batch of stew and bring half to Mom and Dad. Throw in a load of wash when you visit every week. Give Mom a gift certificate for a cleaning service, and then encourage her to have someone clean weekly or twice a month. That may be all the help they need right now.

But what if your aging parents’ needs are more extensive? Do you see signs of forgetfulness (skipped medications and unpaid bills) or poor grooming (greasy hair, clothes that need washing)? You and the other family members will try your best, but it’s very hard to provide daily care, when you’re also taking care of your children and working. You may need help bridging the gaps.

Perhaps you and your parents want to consider a home health aide, who can remind Mom or Dad about medications and help with bathing and grooming. Similarly, if your parent(s) are apathetic about eating and getting more isolated socially, they may benefit from companion or homemaker services—someone who can cook, clean, do laundry and keep your parent(s) company when you can’t. If someone else does laundry and cleaning, you’ll have more time to simply visit or have fun—maybe putting up seasonal decorations or shopping.

Each family’s needs are unique, and you’ll want to determine the right combination of support services to help your aging parents live in their home happily, comfortably and safely as long as possible.

For more insights into dealing with aging parents, visit http://www.agingcare.com/Housing/1159/Home-Care/. To learn more about what community resources and service options are available to you, visit http://www.mnaging.org/ in Minnesota or http://www.usa.gov/Topics/Seniors.shtml for national resources for seniors.

The post Bad Week or Downhill Slide? 7 signs your aging parent(s) need help appeared first on Pinnacle Services.